Coffee ~ Espresso Macchiato
Word ~ Presumptuous
It is always interesting to think of the effects time has on us. Time comes, time goes, it sits deathly still and sometimes it soars. What happens once, happens twice and you eventually come to realize that nothing in life truly happens once? Like the saying goes, “its your once in a lifetime chance,” I rather disagree. Take a step back and look at the broader picture, “Change your perspective to change your perception,” and you will see that nothing in life truly happens only once. Interesting right?
The world’s leading historians stand by the principle, “History repeats itself.” We do not need to look far to prove such a saying because history, or anything that has happened in your or the past repeats itself all the time. Take my current situation
as a point.
About two years ago I could never imagine myself coming back to where I was raised and rekindling the many facets of my old self. I made an oath that I would never revisit what I came to call my old self. I would never allow myself to feel and see through the emotions and eyes of the old me. However today, as I travel to a place far too familiar, something had changed. As i sit here on this soft, cloth cover seat, surrounded on all sides, by such rat race engulfed, thought bombarded people, on this bus, making its way on a route it has made for the last twenty years, I have re-met and reacquired my old self, whom I perceived, for almost two years now, to be dead.
Personally, I have always been fascinated by the affect time has on me especially. There are days where i feel that i have spent to much time not being truly happy and then there are those times when I feel that nothing I do can go wrong. Ive grown so old in mind and spirit from all of the experiences I’ve thus far surpassed and to be honest I am truly happy I did. Ive gotten to see the world absent any rose-colored lens, life real and undistorted. With the maturity of senescence and the eyes of a young man, life appears far different to me now then it has years ago. I’ve come to understand that though you may not like the person you were or more specifically the life you were leading, you can never truly abandon that. Its not to say that you will never change or will be stuck experiencing all that came with your old life, but rather, that person you were and the life you had, will always be a part of you for the rest of your existence. Like me, you can vow to all and defy everyone and say that you will never be any aspect of that old self, but let me pose this, is it not from your old self in which your new self was born from? Not from the experiences and challenges faced by your old self and the multitude of perceptions your old self has acquired throughout the course of your old self’s life? I surrender and accept that the old me I wished to have abandoned, have today reacquainted with and honestly, I have never been more happy to have done so.
Today, as I head toward the great Empire City to see a dear one, I have come back into the fibers of the old me. Clad in a business trench coat, hair styled and with focus in mind, I feel the NYC feel again. Life has changed me and you know what, it has for the better. I have learned and I have grown and today, while I may have reacquainted with my old self and see yet again through his eyes, my mindset is in a far different place. I have aged and I am proud of the many facets that compose the person I am, the thoughts I have and who I will become. I accept and love the future, the present and the past me. Today, I am able to say hello to the old me past, now equipped with a far more mature mindset.
How about you? How do you feel of the old you? the new? Feel free to share any thoughts and have a wonderful evening.
Na Zdarova! (Russian for cheers/for your health)