Where Do We Draw The Line?

Tags

A New Chapter, adulthood, age, Appearance, Back on track, Blog, change, Coffee, Decisions, Fantasy vs. Reality, Growing, growth, Heart, history, Imagination, Learning, Lessons, Life, Life Lessons, Maturity, Moments, Reflection, Time

Coffee ~ A Simple Iced Coffee

Word ~ Replenished

Good Evening Everyone,

It has been some time, a few updates and some minor fixes and now at last I am happy to say that the blog is back on track.

 

This evening, I want to share with you a piece I wrote a few months ago. The subject of the piece or of whom it regarded is irrelevant, it was in the context of the time, but regardless, the thought behind it, I believe, is quite strong. As you read it, reflect on it and pose yourselves the question, have you ever imagined something, anything, which turned out to, in fact, be nothing? It is sad, but most of the time, we as human beings continue imagining even though we already know it is but nothing at all. How do we know when to draw the line?

“That Something That Wasn’t”

Please don’t look at me with those piercing eyes

They’re bleeding tears that could even make sorrow itself cry

We always knew that it would never be as the dreams foretold

It would never be us two, together, forever against the world

My love, why do you cry before me, eyes so red, so deeply distressed?

Give me a smile, your smile, the last smile

Leave me drenched in your essence, inebriated from the love I feel for you

Kiss me; kiss me as if today was your last day for tomorrow I will no longer be here

Look at me, look at me the way you always did and drown me in longing for your touch

Then let me go, release my hand and let me go and alas end everything that wasn’t

After all, you were always my everything and truly, I was your nothing

Absent ruse, please do tell me my love, if I am at all mistaken

In blood, in blood, in blood, imprisoned in a pool of blood escaping from a broken heart

Pease don’t cry, I will be okay, yes, I will be okay

I will still laugh, I will smile, sing, dance, fall and never see the light again, no, I will be okay

Eventually, my tears will change their temperature from a passion filled warm to a stoic, lifeless cold

Please don’t be sad, please show me some hope to remind me of the hope I hold for something that will never be

For I will always love you and you, never truly me

So let me go, lets say our goodbyes and close the door on that useless hope that still lingers

Pull the plug; pull it fast, the plug that’s kept my heart still beating for that something that in the end, wasn’t

Sometimes, although painful and challenging, we should just open our eyes and draw it. The sun will rise again tomorrow and we must understand that today, in fact, does have an end and tomorrow is a brand new day.

Goodnight

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The Old and The New

Tags

adulthood, age, boyhood, bus, change, eyes, history, Learning, Life, new jersey, new york, new you, old you, perception, Quotes, rat race, transformation, travel

Coffee ~ Espresso Macchiato

Word ~ Presumptuous

It is always interesting to think of the effects time has on us. Time comes, time goes, it sits deathly still and sometimes it soars. What happens once, happens twice and you eventually come to realize that nothing in life truly happens once? Like the saying goes, “its your once in a lifetime chance,” I rather disagree. Take a step back and look at the broader picture, “Change your perspective to change your perception,” and you will see that nothing in life truly happens only once. Interesting right?

The world’s leading historians stand by the principle, “History repeats itself.” We do not need to look far to prove such a saying because history, or anything that has happened in your or the past repeats itself all the time. Take my current situation
as a point.

About two years ago I could never imagine myself coming back to where I was raised and rekindling the many facets of my old self. I made an oath that I would never revisit what I came to call my old self. I would never allow myself to feel and see through the emotions and eyes of the old me. However today, as I travel to a place far too familiar, something had changed. As i sit here on this soft, cloth cover seat, surrounded on all sides, by such rat race engulfed, thought bombarded people, on this bus, making its way on a route it has made for the last twenty years, I have re-met and reacquired my old self, whom I perceived, for almost two years now, to be dead.

Personally, I have always been fascinated by the affect time has on me especially. There are days where i feel that i have spent to much time not being truly happy and then there are those times when I feel that nothing I do can go wrong. Ive grown so old in mind and spirit from all of the experiences I’ve thus far surpassed and to be honest I am truly happy I did. Ive gotten to see the world absent any rose-colored lens, life real and undistorted. With the maturity of senescence and the eyes of a young man, life appears far different to me now then it has years ago. I’ve come to understand that though you may not like the person you were or more specifically the life you were leading, you can never truly abandon that. Its not to say that you will never change or will be stuck experiencing all that came with your old life, but rather, that person you were and the life you had, will always be a part of you for the rest of your existence. Like me, you can vow to all and defy everyone and say that you will never be any aspect of that old self, but let me pose this, is it not from your old self in which your new self was born from? Not from the experiences and challenges faced by your old self and the multitude of perceptions your old self has acquired throughout the course of your old self’s life? I surrender and accept that the old me I wished to have abandoned, have today reacquainted with and honestly, I have never been more happy to have done so.

Today, as I head toward the great Empire City to see a dear one, I have come back into the fibers of the old me. Clad in a business trench coat, hair styled and with focus in mind, I feel the NYC feel again. Life has changed me and you know what, it has for the better. I have learned and I have grown and today, while I may have reacquainted with my old self and see yet again through his eyes, my mindset is in a far different place. I have aged and I am proud of the many facets that compose the person I am, the thoughts I have and who I will become. I accept and love the future, the present and the past me. Today, I am able to say hello to the old me past, now equipped with a far more mature mindset.

How about you? How do you feel of the old you? the new? Feel free to share any thoughts and have a wonderful evening.

Na Zdarova! (Russian for cheers/for your health)