Coffee, Growing, Learning, Life, Life Lessons, Love, Maturity, Moments, Reflections, Thoughts
Coffee ~ Hazelnut Skim Latte
Word ~ Immaculate
During this beautiful morning I find myself thinking, contemplating how life has brought me to where I stand today, well, in the next few moments I will rather be sitting, traveling at a good 60+mph. Legs straddling the jittering frame of a neon green motorcycle, life but smears of light shooting by.
I keep thinking, reflecting on all the moments simultaneously popping into my head. I miss my mom, I miss my family, I haven’t seen them in such a long time. I peer forward and I imagine the many bumps and bruises scattered all over the concrete like fissures after a quake and I reflect on all the hardships I’ve overcome thus far. They are as numerous as these concrete blemishes before me. Each one pronounced, but each one with an established end, and thus I look back onto my life. All the “bruises” I’ve thus far acquired must sometime heal, right? Why drag out the pain for so long if it is but merely myopic and one sided. Don’t the colliqualites attest to life being far too short to hold grudges? I feel as though many confuse forgiving with forgetting and honestly, personally, I’ve had a rough time with this one as well.
Looking back to my early years, I remember the the moment when my biological father had effortlessly disowned me. I imagine he did so to be efficient and quick because it was done not only hastily, but also over the phone. This one event ignited a string of dark moments in my life and I was upset for many years as any child would naturally be. I just couldn’t understand why, maybe I was young, maybe naive, angry mixed with sad? Day in and day out I was consumed with these emotions and eventually, I successfully tricked myself into entering the realm of hate. Today, however, I’ve learned that “to hate” is wrong.
Hate in itself is simply self damaging and worthless. In total honesty it goes no where except stay inside the confines of your body and fester. After all I realized my life had a lot more to it for my mind to focus on; hate is just inefficient to the body, mind and soul. Growing up, my mother always told me, stand tall and strong through the night and you will surely pass the storm by morning’s light. Of course in Russian, the saying sounds far more motivating but the message still holds strong. Though my anger brewed a grotesque storm of negativity within me, I finally, learned to forgive but that did not mean forget. I will always remember the wrong done by my once idolized father, but I’ve learned to forgive and move on. Rather then blindly become infuriated, nostrils engorged with boiling steam, I rather learned from him and when it will be time for me to ensue fatherhood, I will be a different dad. Moving back from my lengthy tangent, what i feel is most important to acquire from this all is that all the bad done to you throughout life, the scars left, the bruises imposed, sometimes ironically, evoke good if you learn to learn from them. Essentially, reflect on the blemishes and scrapes you still keep from fully healing, learn from them and then allow them to heal and move on. Define an end and leave them behind. I always remind myself that while my life’s journey along its vast, twisted road may have half a million cracks, tares and even potholes, it will still get me to success, no matter which way you define it. Remember friends, as I now remind myself too, that cup of yours may have a small crack, a smug or even a tiny scratch, but in the end, the coffee isn’t at all affected and doesn’t it still taste just as amazing?
Experience, Live, Learn, Grow and Move On,
Enjoy your coffee and your day,
καλημέρα (Good Morning in Greek)